Club of Chaos
by Timeless Enigma
Summary: The G-Boys and friends go to a club... then chaos ensues. Characters are very OOC (Might be offenisve to Relena fans). Please r/r.


Gundam Wing: Club of Chaos (Party Night)  
  
The phone started ringing at the Peacecraft's mansion. Pagan, the butler answered. "This is the Peacecraft residence." He answered.  
  
"Hi, can I chat with Relena?" came back a cheery and anxious voice.  
  
Pagan covered the phone, "Miss Relena, some American bastard wants to talk with you." He informed rudely in his fake-ass British accent.  
  
In moments, Relena was on the line. "Hello?" she greeted the caller.  
  
"Hey this is Duo, just wonderin' if you could come to a club tonight, they say they've got this awesome DJ and he's doin' an all-night event." He explained.  
  
"Well, I don't know Duo..." she said in uncertainty.  
  
"Everyone will be there, I've already called them. Heero's coming..." Duo enticed her.  
  
"So what time is it?" she replied, quickly changing her attitude.  
  
"It starts at 7 pm."  
  
"Okay, I'll get Milliardo to come." She offered brightly.  
  
"Milliardo? Who's-" he was cut off by an angry reply.  
  
"It's Zechs you American bastard!!" she screamed in her fake-ass British accent.  
  
"It hurts!!!" Duo screamed while hanging up the phone, breaking into sobs, remembering his childhood.  
  
Relena then hung up on a crying Duo. Milliardo then waltzed into the room. "Who was that?" he questioned.  
  
"Duo, he invited us to a club tomorrow night." She relayed the information.  
  
"I don't know... I got-"  
  
"Noin will be there" she enticed, luring him in.  
  
Milliardo then changed his point-of-view. "So what time is it? Oh no, what will I wear!?" he freaked out.  
  
Relena rolled her eyes. "Well, if you're gonna wear that face mask of yours then-"  
  
"Fuck that! I got this phat-ass tuque at K-Mart the other day!" he exclaimed.  
  
* * *  
  
"One time! One time, nigga, one time! Where?" was all that was heard in the dark room.  
  
"Well I'm runnin' from the police, dah duh, no matter what I do, got a nigga, still runnin' from the police. That's right..." Heero rapped along with a renowned song by 2pac.  
  
Heero was dressing up for the big Endurance Night. He didn't know why was so excited. "I hope the DJ'll play some real rap." He said to himself.  
  
In his dark and vast room, he got ready. He ended up wearing a gray rap- style tuque with some dark blue chords, a grayish blue long T-shirt, and a black vest.  
  
* * *  
  
It was five o'clock, and Quatre was ready to strut his stuff. He had never been good at dancing, but this was his chance to get his shit together. He got into his Mitsubishi Solstice and revved towards the Mugen Club.  
  
* * *  
  
"What the hell! The club's supposed to be open now! What's goin' on?" Duo yelled out in anger.  
  
"Listen you little girlie man, the club is opening in two hours. You've got two hours to get a haircut." He teased meanly.  
  
"I'm gonna jack you up when the time comes!" Duo yelled back as he exited.  
  
Along the way he hit the door. The manager laughed his ass off. "I'll show that piece..." he mumbled to himself.  
  
* * *  
  
Finally, seven o'clock arrived and the crowds poured in the club endlessly. The whole gang appeared into the club; Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, Sally, Relena, Noin, Milliardo, Catherine, Hilde, Dorothy and Lady Une. As the crowds got restless for some music, the stage lights turned on and the rest of the lights dimmed.  
  
They all sat in a lounge pit where they conversed with each other and shared some drinks. "Hello ladies and gentlemen, please welcome DJ Phoenix!" said the announcer. The crowd cheered and the tension increased.  
  
"I hope this DJ caters to everyone." She voiced, playing with her blonde hair.  
  
"I hope he doesn't play sappy love songs, or mainstream bullshit." Duo piped in.  
  
Immediately after his comment was made, Hilde assaulted him. "Oww! I meant, for the whole night." He added.  
  
The music began. The first song of the repertoire was "Don't Stop" the "ATB Remix". "Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about!" exclaimed Noin.  
  
"I didn't know you liked this type of music." Milliardo said in surprise.  
  
"There's a lot you don't know about me Zechs, always too consumed in 'duty'." She joked.  
  
After six minutes of "Don't Stop", a familiar song to Heero started up. It was "Old School" by 2pac.  
  
"Yes! Tell me about the old school!" Heero shouted while rapping along... monotonously.  
  
Everyone was shocked... not to mention Relena. "You like rap Heero?" Relena queried. "That evil, wicked music about woman-hating and killing people? It causes the most deaths in the world today." She lectured in her annoyingly high voice.  
  
"First off, the genres you're referring to are Hardcore and Gangsta Rap. Second: You sound like an overprotective mother." He stated in his monotonous voice.  
  
Relena fumed, inwards and she felt the urge to pull out that magnum she was hiding under the table and take a slug, then hit him with it. (A/N: That can be interpreted in two ways.) Heero took this chance to venture out onto the wild dance floor.  
  
Wufei was as bored as hell and Sally was trying to cheer him up. The rap song ended and "The Call" by the Backstreet Boys blared through the speakers. "Damn, not the Bullshit Boys!!" screamed Duo.  
  
He was then cracked with a magnum (A/N: Remember that?) "Ow! Can't you stop the violence? I think you need to go to an Anger Management Meeting." Duo said in retaliation.  
  
"That's strange, Duo seems unharmed from the impact of liquor bottle." Trowa noted in an almost clinical and scientific voice.  
  
"Well then I guess it's true what they say about his skull density..." Wufei replied.  
  
Hilde whacked Duo again with another bottle, a full one this time. Her eyes seemed to perfectly match her insanity. "Damn, I wanted another bottle of hard stuff." Trowa commented unemotionally (A/N: Think Daria).  
  
Lady Une excused herself "I'll return with some more alcoholic beverages." She told them.  
  
"You know she could just say booze, sauce or alcohol." Dorothy snorted.  
  
So far, Heero and Lady Une were gone, Milliardo and Noin were on the verge of making out, Dorothy was filing her nails, Trowa was downing glass after glass of the "good stuff", Catherine was in her own world, and Wufei and Sally were... normal. That is, they were debating about some senseless thing and about to kill each other. Relena, well Relena was fantasizing about Heero, even though in reality her dreams would never happen.  
  
"Hello everyone... This is Phoenix and I'm gonna play some chillout grooves as a prelude to the next song. So just 'chill', take a 'chill pill' and relax." The voice said soothingly.  
  
Although the words penetrated Hilde's murderous rage, it didn't affect her too much.  
  
The DJ delivered what he promised, because right then and there they club was filled with ambient sounds, enough to tranquilize an elephant, but Hilde was no elephant. The mood level had a morose/comatose quality to it. Heero and Lady then returned to their lounge pit. Heero had a grin and a gun in his hand, two things that meant hell was coming soon. "What happened Heero?" Noin asked the obvious question.  
  
"It's a long story." He simply replied.  
  
After the chillout interlude, several gunshots were heard. "Shit, take cover!!" and "Get the fuck down!" were heard everywhere.. Heero smiled. At last a DMX song was on. He tucked the gun into his pocket, triple checking that the safety was on. He didn't want to die with only one lay under his belt.  
  
"Why is the DJ playing rap again? I thought he was playing Ambient" Quatre asked to no one in particular while getting up from the table.  
  
He was obviously still shaken up by the gunshots from the speakers. "I don't know Quatre, some DJ are strange" he answered, smiling to himself (A/N: Just guess to what he did.).  
  
"Wufei you're impossible. How a girl married you, I don't know!" Sally yelled, a little irritated.  
  
Lady Une snorted "She was probably easy."  
  
"Damn straight girl. Who the hell would marry Wufei but some two-dolla hoe?" Catherine complied.  
  
"With your attitude, not even your beauty would get you a husband!" Wufei retorted.  
  
"Not even a man-whore." Heero commented quietly.  
  
Both Wufei and Sally never heard the comments going around. "Oh Wufei, you think I'm beautiful? I never knew." Sally said as she hugged him tightly.  
  
"That looks a bit more like a death-grip than a hug." Quatre noted while observing Wufei's red face.  
  
"I can't take any more of this love stuff." Duo whined, sickened by all of the people around him.  
  
Hilde backhanded Duo. "Now I know why they invented rap" he mumbled.  
  
Trowa, his cement mask still on his face, downed his umpteenth glass of "imported" liquor. "Trowa, don't you think you should lay off on the alcohol a little, you are the designated driver." Catherine advised.  
  
Trowa looked at her, and managed, with great effort to say "I'll be all right" without sounding drunk.  
  
But with all of that energy expended, he slammed his head onto the table. "Humph, never knew Mr. Silent over there could snore so loud." Duo commented.  
  
These caused Catherine to glare at him. "I'm sorry, don't hit me!!" he begged.  
  
"This is Phoenix, it's almost nine, in German, its known as Noin, so lets play another André 'ATB' Tanneberger track know as '9 PM (till I come)'." The DJ announced.  
  
"Oh, I love this song, Zechs, let's dance." Noin commanded, pulling Zechs out of his seat before he could even think of objecting.  
  
"When will my song get played? Why can't I enjoy this night? Why!!?" he asked out loud.  
  
Suddenly, "Why!" by Enigma played (A/N: You'd understand if you've heard the song.).  
  
"I like the DJ's style. He starts with Trance favourites, then to an old school classic. He then cuts the mood down to mellow then scares ever with some more rap. But he must have a bug under the tables because 'Why!' just started up after Duo started hallucinating." Sally told no one in particular.  
  
Trowa was still unconscious, his head on the table. "So, Mr. Silent is also Mr. Alcohol fiend." Dorothy commented.  
  
Heero had just pulled his laptop from his bag and began typing in commands. Duo commented on Heero's obsession and he got a glare. "As 2pac said numerous times: 'we all gonna die'. Your time will just be sooner...." Heero threatened menacingly.  
  
"All right Heero, that's enough. I won't have you making death threat to anyone." Une intervened with authority. Une only received another patented glare, even colder than the last (yes, it's possible) and a malignant and corrupt smile. Lady Une just sighed.  
  
Heero continued to type on his laptop, some might say what was on his screen was very intriguing. "May I see what you're typing Heero?" Une asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Just let me have a little peek."  
  
"Just because you're the head of the Preventers doesn't mean you're in control now." He said icily.  
  
While saying that, Une managed to get a long look at the screen. "My, my Heero, I never knew you had a girlfriend." She commented.  
  
Relena gasped at this. "What!!??" She screamed.  
  
Heero took his glock (which he affectionately called "Nina") and aimed it at Relena. He shot two caps into her chest. She fell off her seat, and many of the lounge's occupants held their breath to see if she was dead.  
  
"It's about fucking damn time the virgin whore got it." Wufei mumbled.  
  
Relena got back up and sat down, clutching her chest. "Fuck, that hurt." She said.  
  
"She's not fucking dead!?" Trowa said as he woke up from his stupor.  
  
"Naw man, the bitch must've had a vest." Duo commented.  
  
"Shit." Was he said, then he took another hit of his drink and got back to his dream world.  
  
"Ok.... that as weird." Duo commented.  
  
"Anyway... back to the girlfriend thing..." Une prompted.  
  
Heero paused, then put his gun back into his pants, triple checking the safety. "Yes, I was gonna comment on your fetish with Treize."  
  
Une blanched. "What?"  
  
Heero smiled that corrupt smile of his again, showing his yellow teeth. "Yes, the pictures you took of Treize while he bathed, and the like." He continued.  
  
Gasps could be heard, even above the Tekken Tag Tournament music playing. Dorothy inched away from Une, looking at her in a strange way. Then Une lot it. She shoved a fresh clip into her semi-auto glock and pointed it at Heero. Just then, some security guards intervened. They dragged Une outside. "I'll kill you Heero, just like I killed Septum!" she screamed as she fought vainly with the guards.  
  
Duo, as always, laughed his ass off. "Immoral onna, she should be hanged!" Wufei declared.  
  
"Hanging was abolished before the colonies were created!" Sally fumed.  
  
Noin and Milliardo returned, Milliardo with some red marks smeared on and around his mouth. "What happened to you Zechs?" Quatre asked, naive as ever.  
  
Noin settled down, then answered "Things can get a little wild on the dance floor."  
  
Duo's idiocy kicked in "It's getting hot in here, Wind and Fire!" Duo said under his coughing fit.  
  
A bullet whizzed by Duo's head. Then he looked up to see a smoking barrel and Milliardo smiling with his K-Mart tuque. "Next time, it's your braid." Milliardo threatened.  
  
"This is Phoenix again, its ten already and we've seen some wild action on the dance floor. Now let's kick it to... some Reggae. Everyone get out yo ganja." Announced the DJ in a cool voice.  
  
Duo couldn't hold his excitement. Jammin' started to blare through the speakers. "Yes, finally some Bob Marley!" Duo exclaimed  
  
Hilde just stared at Duo "You never told me you liked reggae."  
  
Duo started to light up his joint. "You never asked baby, you never asked."  
  
"We're getting married in five months! No more secrets!" she screamed, grabbing her mug and slamming down on Duo's head.  
  
Duo's blunt dropped from his mouth and he was out cold. "C'mon, c'mon, this shit's over with!" a security guard yelled while dragging a psychotic Hilde out of her chair and literally throwing her outside.  
  
Heero didn't want to see any weed go to waste, so he stuck the already lit blunt into his mouth and toqued up. While Heero smoked his herb, everyone else was doing his or her own thing.  
  
"Shit! I broke a nail!" Dorothy wailed.  
  
A bullet whizzed by her head. "Shut up, you're scaring the birds away!" Heero yelled, obviously tripping out.  
  
"I never knew Heero could still aim while stoned." Quatre whispered.  
  
Trowa once again woke up from his drunken stupor. "Hee...ro, Roll me up some weed man."  
  
"Trowa, I thought you quit!" Catherine reprimanded.  
  
"I only quit the powder, not the herb." He said in defense.  
  
Heero reached into his pocket and took out a pound in a bag. He rolled some up, lit it, and shoved it in Trowa's mouth. "How can you inhale that Marijuana?" Relena asked incredulously.  
  
"Relena, it's proven that pot does not damage your brain, or body. I mean it has been legalized, and its a replacement for nicotine. Scientists say it helped 70% of smokers quit. Besides, you should have been Minister of Narcotics instead, if you cared this much." Heero drawled.  
  
Oblivious to everyone else, Wufei shifted his eyes 'If she was the Minister, the Preventers would lose their biggest source of income..." he thought secretly.  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
Should I write a sequel? That's up to you.... 


End file.
